Oprah Show Series: Have You Let Yourself Go?

We can always count on Oprah. If we need a good book, or a good chocolate, she抯 there with a recommendation and, if you happen to be in the audience, a sample. Perhaps Oprah is at her best, however, when you need a swift kick in the bottom - when you need someone telling it like it is, pulling no punches.

We turn to Oprah for weight loss advice and inspiration, tips on jeans that don抰 make our butts look big, and "girl, no you didn抰" comments on our hair and makeup. So it抯 no surprise that Oprah, queen of the TV talk show and the best friend we抳e never met, has turned the makeover show on its head by offering us a series called "Have you let yourself go"?

Featuring the stories of real women who feel they抳e let a part of themselves go and wonder how to retrieve it, the series examines the plight of women who say they抳e lost a piece of themselves somewhere along the path. One woman featured on the first episode of the series was Cheryl, who became a mom 4 years ago and feels she抯 lost a part of herself to motherhood.

"I chose to stay at home", she said in her confessional cam. She pointed to her clothes and hair and noted that she cares little about either and then plaintively said, "I feel I抳e lost a lot of myself."

According to oprah.com, 90% of respondents in a recent survey at the website admitted they have let themselves go. The women featured on the series of shows have a variety of life stories to tell, from abuse and weight gain to broken relationships and significant life changes that brought them to a point, they say, of losing themselves and letting themselves go.

The Oprah message boards have been buzzing since the first shows aired. Women confess they know exactly how the show guests feel, and share similar stories of putting others first, feeling depressed, gaining weight and feeling hopeless and helpless to put things right.

One woman said she lost her job 4 years ago, moved into a contracted job for two years and is now out of work. She identifies, she says, with the issues presented on these Oprah shows. "I feel like I have let knowing who I am go", she wrote. "I have been settling and I don抰 want to settle for just anything. I want to get back on track. I need help and I want to make a comeback - Why am I scared to look at myself? I need to bring that to the surface."

Oprah doesn抰 dwell on people抯 problems without offering experts and solutions, and for this series, she offers us Dr. Robin Smith who has suggested a vast reading list to help us in our bid to pick ourselves up, brush ourselves off, and get our new life.

Some of the suggested reading includes:

- The Woman抯 Comfort Book, by Jennifer Louden

- The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values, and Spiritual Growth, by M. Scott Peck, MD.

- Getting the Love You Want, by Harville Hendrix, PhD.

- Necessary Losses, by Judith Viorst

- The Language of Letting Go, by Melody Beattie

- The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, by Don Miguel Ruiz

- Family Secrets: The Path to Self-Acceptance and Reunion, by John Bradshaw


In this quest to help women renew themselves, Oprah has also brought a personal trainer on board. Jeanette Jenkins offers up daily exercise and eating plans. Visit oprah.com for the plan, or you can download a printable version of it there as well.

Finally, the Oprah.com website is also offering an online journaling tool called a "discovery journal". The "Who am I?" journal is designed to help you discover yourself, says Dr. Robin. That, she suggests, might be the first step toward retrieving the part of yourself you thought you lost.

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Run For Glory TV Series : How To Protect Yourself From Negativity

I am writing this article direct from the filming set of a new BBC1 primetime TV series called "Run For Glory." Run for Glory charts 15 people who have amazingly valiant reasons for wanting to raise money for charity by running the London Marathon.

None of them were runners before this show and they are being trained by UK Olympic gold medallists Steve Cram and Sally Gunnell. I have been filming for one of the Run For Glory shows to help the participants overcome psychological barriers and get in control of their minds with regards to running the marathon and their preparation.

I have found it very interesting to observe the relations between the crew, the producers and the interactions with and in between the participants of the Run for Glory show and how other people really do affect each other and have an impact on each other.

Recently, I wrote about developing rapport without even speaking. Lots of people do this without even being instructed on how to do it. One of the things that I have noticed since I started working within the various fields of personal development is that I am much more aware of other people and how I interact with them.

I have practiced and practiced achieving a really enjoyable sense of rapport with people when I meet them and develop relationships with them. It has been great to observe my own improvements in how I do this and the kind of intuitive and instinctive way that I do this.

When working on the set of this TV show "Run for Glory", I was chatting to one of the participants who is about to become very famous here in the UK thanks to this show, and they were telling me that at the end of filming each episode of Run for Glory, with everything going really well, they would finish the day feeling drained and verging on being depressed.

I spoke to them for a while and I was not sure about this until I observed all the kinds of interaction that was there in this unusual TV environment filming for Run for Glory ?the participant was getting excellent results, I mean they are doing so amazingly well, so why were they feeling so low?

I suggested that this person might be picking up other people抯 issues, thoughts and feelings. I suggested that maybe they needed to protect themselves from the other Run for Glory participants. She used the technique that I then demonstrated to her and subsequently reported back that she felt amazing, so much better than she was before when she was around these people that were stressed, having great demands placed upon them and facing some very challenging situations in their lives.

When you develop rapport with people and get close to them, you can and often do access some of what they are thinking and feeling. This is not the best when the person you are in rapport with is not in a great or a productive state.

It is like a friend of mine who I joke is a "fun vampire." Sometimes he is so morose and seemingly depressed when we are out socially that he seems to "suck the life and the fun" out of all the people that he encounters! I know you all know someone like that too.

I tend to find this is particularly important when I am running seminars with people that are making a lot of changes in their lives or if I am working therapeutically with individuals; I want to be sure not to take on board too much of their feelings and way of thinking. So I want to show you some ways of protecting yourself too.

The way I suggest of doing this requires your natural ability to use your imagination and visualise. Now, if you believe you have difficulty visualising or using your imagination, trust me when I tell you that you use your imagination every day. Your imagination is what reminds you what your partner or spouse looks like, what colour your front door is and how your childhood bedroom looked. You do not have to visualising in perfect cinema screen pictures in your mind, just do it in a way that is right for you. This method is just as effective if you visualise the things I ask or if you just pretend to visualise them in your mind.

Firstly, get yourself nice and relaxed. Sit still and take some longer, deeper breaths and then allow your breathing to be natural and become rhythmic and easy. Focus on the moment; be aware of how your body feels in that moment.

Secondly, as you get more relaxed, imagine the relaxation spreading through your body. If you want to, give it a colour or a texture or imagine it as a sensation.

Thirdly, imagine the relaxation, or the sensation of stillness moving out of your body, just a few centimetres. Imagine that you are extending it to become a protective shield that is all around you.

Imagine that it acts as a filter, so only you to take on things that are for your better good and understanding and does not allow you to take on anything that is going to affect you detrimentally.

I don't know if any of you remember adverts for the oat cereal "Ready Brek"? The people used to have a glow about them when they were going to work if they had eaten their Ready Brek. When I first started protecting myself in this wonderful way, I used to imagine that I had a glow around me that acted like emotional armour and any unwanted thoughts or feelings or even comments of others that I did not want to carry around with me, just bounced off my armour.

Finally, when relaxing tell yourself that this protective shield is there working for you even if you are not consciously aware of it. That way you can be sure that you are not carrying anyone else抯 vibes around with you and leaves you free to enjoy your experiences for what they really are. Then go ahead and practice this a few times, putting conscious effort into it, imagine making it more powerful with your attention and really getting it strong.

These ideas are just metaphors for protecting yourself, but because your mind and body are one system, they can be extremely effective ways of letting your unconscious know what you want. One of the things that you may begin to notice after you have used this approach a few times and over a prolonged period of time is that you just need to remind yourself of it every now and then, and then it works even better and better. The long term effects of establishing some protection are so very good for you; just as good as finding a good sun screen, that's for sure. It was so successful with that participant for Run for Glory too.

One of the first things I disocvered when I really looked at the people on the set for Run for Glory was how many people out there make negative or bad suggestions (ie. people who say things which guide attention in less than helpful directions). It is the same in life as on the Run For Glory Set! The number of well-meaning doctors, family members, colleagues and friends that I have heard giving people suggestions for ill health, stress and negativity is truly amazing! If you maintain some good protection for yourself, you can be sure not to allow other peoples negative language, thoughts and feelings to affect you in a way that is not for your better good.

The ability to protect myself from the things going on around me has been instrumental in my latter life, being able to block out most unhelpful messages that come my way leaves a very nice state of well-being and it did so too for the participant in Run for Glory.

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