Night and Day: Choosing Your Reality

"There's nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so."
- William Shakespeare

The title of this great Cole Porter song -Night and Day - also describes the sometimes changeable nature of my outlook on life.

Example: It is late evening, and I'm thinking about all I have to accomplish in the week ahead - book publishing details, workshop preparation, handouts to finish, that audiorecording script I want to write, a call to my sister, plane reservations to Chicago, and so on, not to mention the minutiae of phone calls, email, internet searches, and follow up associated with each project. I feel overwhelmed, tired, self-absorbed, and incapacitated.

Next morning: I awake before dawn and do some deep breathing. I meditate, watch the sun rise, and eagerly anticipate the day. Today, I will learn the ship date for my book, have the opportunity to create a new piece of writing, plan a workshop, and maybe take a walk and enjoy some fresh air.

The same circumstances that seemed daunting, scary, and impossible to manage the night before appear filled with potential this morning. I am doomed - I am lucky. I'll get sick - I feel great! I will certainly fail - My day is filled with promise.

My husband Jim and I call these "Night and Day" viewpoints the Good Reality and the Bad Reality. I would rather be in the Good Reality - positive, pleasant, and full of possibility. The sun is shining, birds singing, and life is easy, flowing and fun. Problems exist, but I can handle them. My energy is strong and resilient.

But sometimes I drop into the Bad Reality, where life is difficult, depressing, and stressful. I feel weighed down, inadequate, and powerless. I can't find my energy or my spirit.

Is it a choice? I think it is. Something is happening out there, and my viewing lens changes my experience. My thinking makes it so.

Sometimes I can get there on my own steam. I just change my mind, or laugh at myself, or both. When I'm too tired to find the road back, I rest or take myself out for a cup of tea. When I am kind to myself, the Good Reality always returns.

And so I experiment with the Reality channel and how the external world changes with my viewing lens. Shall I live in the Good or Bad Reality today? How about you? Which one are you in now? Can you cross over?

I would love to hear from you on these questions. The capacity to believe that by changing my thinking I can change my reality is a gift. I know this. Partly, my life is about sharing this gift.

I hope you're in the Good Reality today.

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Choosing Happiness

Ever heard someone say,攨so-in-so is great, but I抦 just not happy??Or have you ever wondered why you just couldn抰 seem to find happiness? Read on to learn how you can choose to be happy.

Happiness is something you have to 揷hoose?to be. A person could have all the money in the world, and still be unable to acquire what it is they really want, and ultimately remain unhappy. A person could be surrounded by all their friends and loved ones, and still be lonely. And, a person could have to eat bugs to survive, in a cold, wet prison cell, and still be happy to eat those bugs, and happy to be alive. This person has gratefully accepted their surroundings, and has found some good or greater meaning in it, making the experience more pleasurable. This person chose to be happy with what they had, by being mindful of the moment, recognizing the potential it may have.

Getting into the habit of being happy is easy. The first step is learning to appreciate your blessings, seeing the good or greater meaning of things. This requires that you become more aware of your five senses. How else could the smell of freshly baked cookies cheer up your woefully dreary day? How else could the faint sound of your sleeping child抯 breathing ease you into your own peaceful resting state? We need to use our senses to become more aware of our surroundings, and accept them. It抯 then that we can change our surroundings to become more pleasing to us. This could include some small, but significant changes, like placing candles by the bathtub, or buying a special lamp for your reading area.

Scientific research suggests that colors play an important role in one抯 moods. Light green and orange seem to make people feel happier, whereas red makes them feel hungry. Many people have been hiring interior decorators as part of their strategy for feeling better, as interior decorators have studied colors, patterns, layouts, etc., and they use these factors to create a comfortable living area, tailor-fit to your needs. Just remember to research your interior designer, and be frugal. The positive effect that redesign brings, needn抰 be boggled down by guilt from over-doing it. The idea is to do things that make you feel good. It won抰 make you feel good if you overspend, or overindulge. But it will make you feel good if you shopped around, and you got the best deal, completely fitting all your needs.

Again, awareness is the key to happiness. After you have become aware of yourself and surroundings, you can choose to be appreciative and happy.
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